You Know When the Men Are Gone by Siobhan Fallon

This is a collection of short stories written by an author who is part of a miltary famly.  She lived in Fort Hood, TX for two years while her husband was deployed in Iraq.  Based on first hand knowledge, she superbly captures military families' lives and hardships both from soldiers and spouses perspectives. 

The stories allowed me to gain a deeper understanding of an important group in our national diaspora.  They reaffirmed the importance of not taking for granted what I treasure the most in my life, my relationship  with my husband and our strong marriage.  I ached for the wives who are forced to spend months alone, learning to be self-reliant not only in managing a household (i.e., raising children alone, daily household chores and tasks) but also in regards to their emotional needs. 

Military families face additional challenges upon a soldier's return home, facing a period of adjustment as they attempt to reconnect with one another.  I was surprised to learn that the army provides couples with pamplets, instructing them on how to communicate and interact with one another.  Taken from "Things a Soldier Should Remember", some rules include:
*  No cursing
*  Your family members are not your men: they do not have to obey your orders
*  Your wife has been handling the finances and diciplining the children during your absence.  Work with her, and most importantly, tell her you appreciate her and that she has done a good jo
*  Take time to be charming!

While several stories highlight the residual stress placed on relationships following months of separation, one story captures a wife's euphoric, almost-giddy excitement following her husband's return from service.
" He had gotten back from Iraq only three weeks ago and Carla still felt electricity flood through her whenever she saw him, a shiver of amazement that he was home, a mental alignment that she had a husband living in the same time zone.
Soldiers' perspectives are also presented in short stories about falling in love with an international translator, difficulty adjusting to civilian life, dealing with broken relationships, coping with life-changing injuries and dealing with a wife's infidelity. 

Several of the stories are cleverly linked to each other.  For example, a soldier who is abandoned by his wife in one story, later reappears in another short story in which he consoles the wife of a deceased soldier from his platoon, who saved his life.

While I recognize the sacrifice soldiers make to defend our country, these stories brought to light the vast parameters of their sacrifice that impacts every part of their lives.  Unfortunately, not enough media attention is brought upon soldiers' and their families lives so that we can learn to more appropriately honor them.